Yes, you read the title right.  I am actually writing a post about choosing bankruptcy.  No, I haven’t changed my mind about bankruptcy, it is still not something I recommend.  However, I realize that many of you struggling with debt feel it is your only choice.

So since  bankruptcy may be the option you choose I thought it best to insure you have as much information as possible about the process so you don’t  get ripped off during such a stressful process.   With that said,  I thought I would provide some valuable suggestions if this is the path you decide to travel.

This is  a huge life changing decision so it is so important that you do your homework and research exactly how to file as well as understand the whole process.  The problem is most bankruptcy attorneys will just tell you what you need to do, sign here, pay here and send you on your way.  You need to get some unbiased information about the process.

For example I am sure you know there are three common types of bankruptcy:

• Chapter 7 – Liquidation
• Chapter 11 – Reorganization
• Chapter 13 – Adjustment of Debts of an Individual with Regular Income

Did you know that if you earned too much money in the past, you cannot file Chapter 7 today even if you are unemployed?  Personally, I never knew that.  What about this, you can’t file Chapter 13 without a regular income or sufficient income.  Now that doesn’t make sense to me, but that is the way it is. The good news is there are  solutions.   I use these as just a couple examples of  how confusing bankruptcy can be, especially when you are already stressed about money and your debt.

Even though I didn’t know about those two little Chapter 7 & 13 tidbits, Dave Clark does know.  He is an attorney and bankruptcy expert.  Since you are stressed about money, and I am no expert about bankruptcy it is best to get quality information from someone who has been trained and knows about the process.    That is why I would recommend reading his manual on personal bankruptcy strategies.   If you are going to file, I highly recommend doing the process with as much knowledge as possible.

I like Dave’s manual because he discusses in detail the different options you have as well as the ability to mix and match options.  He also discusses the pros and cons of the options as well as making sure you are filing at the right time.  Yes, that was also new to me, the  timing of your bankruptcy is important.  You don’t want to file too soon and you certainly don’t want to file to late.

Dave also explains how important it is to do pre-bankruptcy planning.  It is important to discover which of your assets may be at risk as well as how to avoid prohibited financial transactions that will always get you in trouble.  He also tells what the difference is between foreclosure and bankruptcy, I bet you think you already know, you might be surprised.

This manual  is non-bias, straight forward, it discusses the process of bankruptcy, but what I like best is it also discusses life after bankruptcy, something that most people don’t think about like the timing the sale of assets, new loans and credit after filing bankruptcy.

Yes, if you are planning to file for bankruptcy I recommend getting an attorney but before you do that get the Bankruptcy Strategies manual, read it, and know the whole process so when you speak to your attorney you will know if what he or she is saying is on target or not.  Knowledge is power and at a time like this, you need all the power you can get.

When coaching clients I have always focused on the fact that being in debt is not so much about money but more about behavior.   That it is about 80% behavior and 20% income.

I realized that I was so focused in helping each of you look at your spending behavior as well as how to budget that I never really addressed the other 20% of the equation which is how to increase your income.

We all know the truth, if you can adjust your spending behavior and reduce your debt, you won’t need as much income.  However, you do need a way to sustain life.  After all  as much as I firmly believe that life is not all about money, that we should focus on the important things in life such as family and friends, the fact still remains, we need money to sustain  life and have some fun.

So in addition to teaching you how to manage money, how to adjust behavior I am also going to start offering ideas on how to increase your income.   Beside the fact that we need money to survive,  there is another common theme I have been hearing from my clients as well as family and friends.   Most people would prefer not to work.   Well let me re-phrase that, they would prefer not to work for someone else.   (can I hear an Amen?)

You see, if I can teach you how to manage your money, help you become debt free as well as show you ways to increase your income by working from home, I am solving all the reasons people come to me for help.

All three of these things are equally important, you have to know how to manage money before God will trust you with more money.  You need to get out of debt to relive the pressure and stresses of bill collectors.  But the most important of all these things is being able to be your own boss.  To be able to manage your own time between working for yourself and enjoying the most important things in life, your family.  You will be able to take the same principles you use in managing money and use them in managing your time.  Being your own boss requires a discipline of managing time properly.

The goal is not be go from being obsessed with debt to being obsessed with making money.   The goal is creating a perfect balance in your life between income, and behavior.

The reason I am sharing this today is because I was recently introduced to a program that teaches you how to make money from your home.  No, this is NOT a get rich quick scheme.  Making money isn’t quick, nor will you get rich if you aren’t properly managing what you are making.  I don’t believe in such things nor will I write or encourage such.    This product is a legitimate way to make money on the internet from your home.  I use some of these techniques  myself, that is one reason  way I can provide money management mentoring & coaching to you for free.

Now for a  bit of a disclaimer.  I don’t care for the “sales pitch” type page or even the name of the product, mainly because it sounds cliché and scheme like.   So ignore how it is presented and look at the actually content of the product.

Ok, disclaimers are done, so what is this product?   The product is called  “Affiliate Cash Ultimatum” (remember ignore the scheme like name) but believe this program totally over delivers for the small price.    So what is it?  This program explains in detail how to make money from your home on your computer.  Extra income while still being at home with the family.

Basically it is a way to sell other people’s products.  You don’t have to worry about customer service, you don’t have to worry about trying to collect payments.  You don’t even have to worry about knowing how to market and no you don’t need any technical knowledge or a website.  All you need is a  Clickbank account, which is free and, a niche, meaning a topic  that you are interested in.  Now this is important, you really need to pick a niche that you are passionate about, something you will enjoy talking about even there was no chance of you making money about it.

So I mentioned this program over delivers, here is what you get.  A 110 page  guide that walks you through the process step by step in 3  main sections which I will go into detail below. You also get a  workbook that is laid out in a way that will help you manage your time, set goals for each week and walk you through the  whole process. But the real bonus here is you  get 20 in-depth videos to make this a course with a lot of useful information.   The best part, you don’t have to wait for it to be shipped, you can download it directly to your computer, actually there is even something better than that, it comes with a 60-day money back guarantee so if you don’t think the information is worth the money, just ask for a refund.  Oh, and the price for all this is only $47, well worth it when compared to the amount of information provided as well as the fact that two sales could pay for the whole course.

So back to the three sections that I mentioned guide includes:

Module 1 – Market Research: Choosing Winning Products

The first part of this course teaches you the fastest and easiest ways to find a profitable niche as well as a product that will make you money if you promote it.  The author makes things simple and easy to understand including wise words such as:-

“We’ll get into how to choose your products in a bit; but all you’re doing is simply promoting, or marketing, that product to a wider or different audience than the creator can – for a cut of the profits………..”

You will learn the different methods you can use to promote products and the best ways to target niches that will make you additional money.

Module 2 – Action Steps to Build Your Affiliate Business

This module basically goes over the crucial steps you need to take to become an affiliate marketing master.  It gives you a step by step blueprint on what you should follow and why you should do it the authors way!  It contains very important strategies such as how to build your list and also how squeeze pages will help you get buyers purchasing many products from you in the future.

Module 3 – Techniques To Make You Even More Money

This section shows you ways of getting a lot of traffic to your website (if you have one) and if you are getting a lot of traffic then you will start making money, simple!  It covers all major areas and even if you only used a few of the ways mentioned then you will soon get many visitors viewing your site.

This course contains the complete steps from beginning to end how the author  has built up his affiliate business. It is also great that it shows you how to build an affiliate business without the need to spend money on buying your own domain.  With this course there are no hidden charges, although it does tell you how to use your own domain and auto-responder for maximum effect should you wish to invest.

Not only does this course over deliver with information, but it contains some tips and tricks that I did not know about and will certainly be testing  in the near future.

This course has a lot of information on how to make money online and was written by someone who has proven it works.

So if you are in a situation where you are learning to manage your money, but have so much debt that additional income is needed and taking a second job outside the home isn’t an option, the Affiliate Cash Ultimatum course is an option I can recommend.

Yesterday in “Live Like You Lost Your Job” I talked about living below your means now, before you lose your job.

If you were to lose your job today could you sustain your current lifestyle?   The goal is to get your lifestyle and living expenses in a state that you could survive if you lost your job and ended up getting a new job making much less than you make now.

It is so much easier to make these hard lifestyle changes now while still employed then when you are unemployed.  So let’s begin.

Make sure you have a list of all your expenses.  Write them all down, from tithe, mortgage, insurance, car payments, food, utilities, gas, right down to vending machine expenses.

Now make another list of where you can begin to cut back on your lifestyle.   This is where the hard part comes in.  Keep in mind, many times our lifestyle is more about “want” rather than “need.”  Sure you may want a five bedroom home, but do you need one?  You may want that 2010 Lexus but it is just a car with a purpose of getting you from point “A” to point “B” reliably, there are a lot of $5,000 cars out there that can get you between those two points exactly the same as a $41,000 car.

Cars are a huge money pit.  They lose value the second you drive them off the lot.  A little over two years I purchased a 2001 Ford Explorer for $5,600 cash, still have it, it runs great, has ice cold air.  It isn’t fancy, but it is paid for, gets me where I need to go, it’s reliable and safe.  My point here is a car is a hunk of metal, not an investment or a status symbol.   Look at it another way, the average car payment in America right now is between $380 and $460 per month.  That is each and every month from anywhere between 36 to 60 months, sometimes more.    Even if you buy a used car, say for example my 2001 Ford Explorer, I will NEVER be able to put $380 into it each month in maintenance costs for three to five years….never.  I do put money away each month into savings for repairs.  So if it needed a $3000 repair, I have already saved that money, and still below the normal monthly cost of the average car payment and won’t have that level repair every year.

Many people are truly house poor.  Sure the bank may have approved you for your mortgage, but are you living on the edge right now trying to meet that mortgage payment on top of your other expenses?  If it is tight now, what would it be like if you lost your job.  Live now like you have lost your job, maybe you could downsize your home?

Are you making payments on TV’s or appliances?  Sell them, and buy something smaller and cheaper that is paid for.  Sure the front end washers are nice, but they are more expensive than a top load washer….guess what, both get cloths clean.  Remember, I am only talking about items that aren’t paid for, items that you may have purchased on credit.
Payments for adult children.  Yes, believe it or not, I have many clients who are paying rent, car and insurance payments for their adult children.  STOP!  If your kids are adults, it is time for them to begin to be responsible for their own bills.  After all, if you lose your job, they will have no choice right?

Home equity line of credit….close it.  Start paying it off.  If you keep it open you are leaving the door open to latterly live off your house.  What happens if you lose your job, can’t pay your house payment much less the HELC payment?  Yep, the bank takes the house and now you are jobless and homeless….not so good.

Second mortgage and credit cards.  Stop charging, stop living on credit and loans.  Remember, if you are living on credit, you really can’t afford what you are buying, you are living above your means.  The goal here is to live below your means.  Live like your lost your job now before you lose your job.

Make your budget based on $20,000 less than you bring home right now…..it will not be easy, it will be a life style change, it will take a year or two maybe more.  But in the long run it will be worth it, especially if you lose your job.

If you don’t lose your job, that is great too, because through all this you will be still living below your means, and that extra money, after you have built up 12 months to 18 months in living expenses can go toward paying your house off early.

The ultimate goal is to be debt free, so if you lose your job you can survive on very little.  With no bills and the habit of living below your means you can easily survive on as little at $3600/mo maybe a little less, maybe a little more depending on the number in your family.  But at least you won’t lost your home, cars, or anything else if you lose your job.

You need money.  Your credit cards are maxed and your family won’t lend you any more.  What do you do?

Well you may think, maybe I can get a loan from one of the online Payday lenders.  That really is not the best idea.

The Better Business Bureau has issued a warning about deceitful Payday lenders.  The BBB has had hundreds of complaints from multiple online payday lenders.   Why, what is so wrong with an online payday lender, after all, it must be legit right?

Well, yes and not.  For one, payday lenders know you are desperate for money so they make it look easy to get money and here is how.  First, they comply with your request for a loan….usually a few hundred dollars.  Unlike a Payday lender store front, the online Payday lenders asked for your bank account so they can deposit your request immediately, then they will deduct a fee and interest on top of the loan payments.  That is where the convenience stops.

Since you gave them your bank account number, they now have card blanch to deduct as much money from your account as they wish.  In most cases you end up paying two to three times the amount of the original loan and those charges are only for the interest, most likely you have only paid $10 or $20 toward the principle of the loan.  Interest rates could be as much as 521%.

Think about it, you borrow $400 and could end up paying $2084.  That is a lot of money for someone who already doesn’t have any money, which you don’t otherwise you wouldn’t be getting a loan from these online sources.

Here is the reality check.  If you are that far in debt, where you are so desperate you are willing to get an online Payday loan you need to rethink your current lifestyle.  It is time to look at your spending habits.   It is time to gain some maturity and say “no” to yourself and your “wants.”

Anyone, with any income can budget and manage their money.  When you are in control of your money rather than your money being in control of you, you will being to find peace rather than financial distress.

If by chance you have already made the mistake of getting an online Payday loan, you may have to close your bank account in order to get them to stop taking money out.  Pay back your original loan amount and learn from your mistake.  Sometimes that won’t even get rid of these companies.  For detailed help on how to get out from under a pay day loan get this no nonsense guide on how to deal with these companies.  Unlike the pay day loan, this guide comes with a 100% money back guarantee so you have nothing more to lose and so much to gain by closing out your pay day loan debt.

Are you in debt?

Are you able to manage money well?

If you answered “yes” to the first question and then “no” to the second question, congratulations you have already taken the first step in improving your life by admitting you have trouble managing money.

People don’t come to me unless they are in debt, most likely in a financial crisis.  Many people, just like you, are looking for a quick way to make more money so you can get out of debt.

So here is my question: What good is a Million dollars if you can’t manage $100 dollars?  You want to make more money, but yet you are having trouble managing what you currently make.   The good news…. I am here to help you with both.  My goal is to teach you how to manage money and how to make more money to manage so you can get out of debt.

Through my years of coaching, teaching and mentoring clients, like you,  how to manage money and get out of debt, there was one huge step that I left out.  It was how to make more money.  You see, I was so focused on coaching people like you how to manage money, that I didn’t coach you on how to make more so you can get out of debt a little quicker.

Oh sure, I made the valid suggestion of getting a second job but as valid as that suggestion was in most circumstances, it really wasn’t practical.

From here on out, not only will I be providing guidance on how to get out of debt and how to manage money, I will also be discussing ways to make additional income, in most cases from home, so you won’t be away from your family.

No, I don’t think life is all about money, but I do believe that if you get your money under control, as well as a good steady stream of income that you are in control of, you will be securing your future, your family’s future and getting out of debt all at the same time.

So where do you start?  First you have to learn how to manage money.  Sure you could hire a coach like me.   However, my services come with a fee and it isn’t cheap.  My goal is to help you get out of debt and help you become successful with money.    I would prefer to do that without charging you hundreds of dollars.

Why would I NOT want you to hire me as a coach?  Because I want you to become debt free, I want to be part of your solution not charge you a lot of money and add to your problem.

Let me ask you, would you rather pay $640 for coaching or $50 for coaching?   If it were me and I’m debt free, I would pick the $50 option (humm maybe that is why I am debt free?!)

So here is the deal, you can get the same type of information I would teach you for a very reasonable fee….one that is 100% refundable if you are not happy with it.   It is The Ultimate Debt Guide! by Scott Stephens.  It is really more than a guide; it is a get out of debt course.

If you want to get out of debt, don’t want to pay the type of fee that I would charge, I encourage you to purchase “The Ultimate Debt Guide” you have 60 days to review it, work the suggestions and if you do not see how if you follow this course you can become debt free, return it for a full refund.  You can’t afford not to give it a try.

The first step you need to do to become debt free is take action, purchase “The Ultimate Debt Guide” and start working the program.  I’ll be honest, just as with my coaching, the processes of becoming debt free will take several months, maybe a year or two, but this program works if you follow the steps, the same type of steps I teach.

You want to be prepared for my upcoming posts on ways to increase your income from home right?   Start your financial transformation now.

As a final note, one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.  If you keep dealing with money the same way today and tomorrow as you did yesterday, you will continue to be in debt.  If you take action today, invest just $50 in “The Ultimate Debt Guide” you have already taken the first step to changing your financial future.   Go ahead, you can do it!

Same as cash. Reward points. Air miles. Save 10% if you sign up for the store card, the list goes on.

We have all heard the sales pitch or gimmicks that try to get you to use a credit card to pay for a purchase. Offers for credit cards are everywhere. From a casual visit to a chain store, television, the mailbox, to places you wouldn’t expect like a NASCAR race.

Most of my friends and many of my clients have told me they have “figured out” how to get the credit card company to pay them for using their card. They then go further by saying using the credit card helps their credit score. Maybe you too play into the “I’ll use their money and win” game.

Are you sure you are really winning. Are you really using their money? Are you really getting them to pay you? It may look that way on the surface, but is it real?

If it is real, why are so many people living with debt? Is it that the people with debt just can’t figure out the “system” of beating the credit card companies at their own game? Or maybe, the credit card companies know you better than you know yourself.

There is one sure fire way of beating the credit card companies. Once sure way of “getting more money” and “showing them” and I am going to tell you how.

To get credit cards to pay you must first accept that you can’t win at their game. You can’t increase your bottom line and use credit cards. The sales pitches and gimmicks to get you to use a credit card are put into place for a reason. The credit card companies know from years of expensive research and increase bottom line figures that you will mess up. You will miss a payment deadline, your won’t use the air miles within the allotted time-frame, you will let your reward points expire. Oh sure, from time to time you may get the reward but it won’t be near enough to make up for what you have charged to get that small “savings.”

So who am I to say this about the credit card companies? Well first, I tried to play the game and lost, was it because I wasn’t good at the game? No, I was very good at the game, but like I said above, not matter how good you are, the odds are in favor of the credit card companies. Also, I have a steady stream of clients and potential clients that cross my path daily who have also lost at the game.

But don’t just take my word for it, let’s go further into detail.

By using credit cards you are decreasing your income. It is so much easier to “swap” plastic than it is to pull cash out of your wallet. Your thought process changes from “Can I afford it” to “I have the money, I will use the card” using the card does not mean you have the money. You are using someone else’s money and if you don’t play by the rules of their (credit card companies) game they will charge you plenty to use their money. Like I said above, most people miss a small rule in the play book and lose.

So let’s go back to the sales gimmicks for a moment, you know the same as cash, 10% off your purchase, air miles stuff. You pay your credit card off each and every month…you are “getting the credit card to pay you.” Studies have shown that you are most likely spending more by using plastic than if you used cash. It is hard to let go of a $20 dollar bill. Cash in hand causing you to pause mentally before handing it over to someone else, plastic does not therefore, you are more liable to spend more money on a card then by paying cash.

What ends up happening is you will most likely miss a payment. You broke a rule of the game and now you will be penalized by paying interest, sometimes a lot of interest and in the long run that interest costs you more than the small amount of “rewards” that the credit card company is trying to lure you in with.

How do you fix this….make a decision right here, right now to break the cycle. Make the decision to truly have credit cards pay you by NOT using them. Paying cash will give you more money in the long run, as well as put you on the run to paying off your debt (because you are not charging anymore) and finally give you some peace mentally. Being in debt is an emotional burden. Paying cash is emotionally rewarding….that is the real reward.

There are various methods of getting out of debt, the one I like best is the Debt Snowball. It is simple, and provides a quicker sense of accomplishment. Dave Ramsey is the primary advocate of the debt snowball.

So what is it? Well, before I get into the details, I first want to encourage you to make sure you have at least $1000 in the back before you start paying down your debt. This should be used as your emergency fund. Always keep that $1000 in the back so if you have an emergency, you won’t create more debt in taking care of the emergency.

Basically, it is paying the lowest balance first.

If you are seriously trying to get out of debt, you’ve already heard of Dave Ramsey, and especially if you are reading this blog.

Dave is a straight forward, no-holds-barred, tell you like it is kinda person when it comes to helping people get out of debt. He was once in debt so he speaks from experience. He has decades of experience mentoring people to get out of debt and live debt free. His background is not just from experience but is also Bible based by stating “The borrower is slave to the lender” Proverbs 22:7.

He hosts a daily radio show as well as a broadcast each weeknight on Fox Business News and encourages listeners who have become debt free to call in and scream “I’m/we’re Debt Free!!” as an inspiration to others who are working toward debt freedom.

Some people love him others hate him, either way he is absolutely determined to get you out of debt, and so am I.

I too have been in debt, and although I did not used the debt snowball to get out of debt (didn’t know about it back then) I am now debt free. I also believe the debt snowball is the best way to getting out of debt.

So as I mentioned earlier, it is the process of placing your smallest debt first and working your way down to the highest debt.

How do you do this?

Take all your bills, not your living expense bills like water, electric, utilities, house, food, etc. and list them, from lowest balance balance to highest balance

Pay the minimums on all the bills except the first, and pay as MUCH as you can on that one until it’s gone. Usually, this smallest debt is $200 to $600 dollars, and once it is paid off, you have an quick sense of success. That is the whole point of this process. Small victories.

Continue to the second bill, adding the amount you paid on the first before it was paid off and pay that one, hence picking up more dollars each time you pay off a bill and placing those dollars on the next bill (snowball effect)

Do this until the last bill is gone. Now keep in mind it is not just about the debt snowball process, you must also be working a budget and cutting back on spending all at the same time, see Money Management aka Cash Flow and How to Get Out Of Debt.

There are some pros and cons of the debt snowball, I find the pros out way the cons but here they are:Pros:

• Easy to set up
• Easy to follow
• Many small victories

Cons:

• Overall, more interest paid then with other methods, however, I have found other methods are harder to stick to.

With that said, as Dave says, this isn’t about the math, it is about the forming of a habit of paying off debt. It reinforces the habit by giving early positive results.

As with anything you must stay focused, and commit to follow it through to the end. The small victories and success of paying off that first small bill helps early reinforcement that it is working.

Being debt free is a life time commitment, not just a short term solution. Stay focus and you will be successful.

This week a tragedy occurred just eye shot from my the building where I work.  I was at lunch when I noticed  the sky filled with three news helicopters.

A man in his forties, married to his high school sweet heart with two beautiful children ages 10 & 12 shot and killed his wife and kids and then committed suicide.  They lived in a beautiful home, in a very up scale community.  Had fairly new SUV vehicles parked in the driveway as well as a maid, who unfortunately is the one who found the bodies.

It is something that, sadly occurs all too often somewhere in the country and all indications are that this was  a direct result of money problems and overwhelming debt.  By all exterior appearances this family was successful and well off.  The neighbors said they were very friendly and active in the neighborhood but yet private about their lives.

I want to extend my heart felt prayers and sympathy to the surviving extended family.  What they must now deal with and try to understand must be so confusing and can only be done with God’s help.  That brings me to this article.  It is not about this particular family but the actual incident.  Murder suicide related to financial stress, debt, living beyond your means.  This incident, and other like it around the country  should be a wake up call to all of us on more than one level.  It should help us all realize how quickly things can get out of control as it relates to money and money management.  It should also help us realize that there are so many individuals and families around us that may appear to be “ok” on the outside but are in turmoil on the inside.  Maybe we should all offer our friends and family with the option of being there for them if they need anything.  Let them know they are not alone.  I’m not talking about handing them money, I am talking about emotional support.   Sometimes all it takes is a sincere “how are you really doing?  you know I am here for you no matter what if you ever need to talk”  many people don’t realize or feel they have anyone to turn to.

There are so many families, that for what ever reason, are living beyond their means.  Some feel they must always keep up with the “Jones”, compete to have a house, furnishings, car like a neighbor or other family member.  They may get this feeling and pressure from their spouse, or even from their parents.  Some have such a fear of “failure” they are willing to drown in debt and/or make terrible life altering decisions that effect them and their family all because they are afraid to ask for help and telling a spouse “honey we are in serious financial trouble.”

Friends, money and/or the lack there of is NOT worth your life or  the life of your family.  It is not worth your health either.  There is no shame in saying “I am in over my head financially”, there is no shame in saying “I don’t know how to manage money.”  The fact of the matter is, the majority of us don’t know how to manage money.  We have never been taught.

Oh sure, there may have been a lesson or two in school on how to balance your check book, but how many of you have every been taught how to make a budget and keep a budget?   We are a product of our environment and up-bringing.  If your parents were good at managing money, chances are those lessens filtered down to you. However, from the debt statistics in this country, with most households having between $8000 and $10,000 in credit card debt (and that is an average, most have much more) chances are your the minority if you were raised with any form of money management skills.

So what happens?  You get married.  Instead of living in an apartment for a few years to save money for a home, you buy one right away sometimes needing a co-signer.  Now that home has to get new furniture and guess what, the furniture store has a 2 year same as cash credit card to charge the furniture on, you think what a deal!  You  can’t drive around in that old car after all  it is too small to handle the two kids so a new car is bought on a 60 month bank note, or worse yet, a lease….oops, you actually need two new vehicles because your spouse doesn’t want to drive the old car.  Within three to five years of marriage you are $60,000 to $90,000 dollars in debt between cars and furniture and that isn’t counting the mortgage.  Sometimes you come into the marriage with student loan debt or other credit card debt as well.  You do all this on a income that is based on an hourly job or low paying salary job as you are still at an entry level of pay grade.  You are both having to work just to meet the basic bills.  The pressure cooker has already started building pressure.

As time goes on you need a  little extra cash and take out a second mortgage on that house of yours, pay down some credit cards with it so now you have more room to charge up more, and the cycle continues (see Is a Consolidation Load a Good Idea).  You have money, but it isn’t your money.  You have everything you want, but it is never enough you always find more to buy.  The cycle continues, the debt increases, the pressure of making payments weighs heavy on your mind because now you are missing payments.  You start to feel like there is no way out.  You can’t admit to anyone about the pressure you feel because you think they will think you are a failure, nothing could be further from the truth.

This cycle  can, and as proven this week, does lead to someone having a breakdown to do something they never in a million years believed they would do just to, in their mind, save face from the shame of debt and money problems going public.  Many feel they are all alone, they have no where to turn.  Please know this….You are NEVER alone.

Please, please understand, that regardless of the amount of debt you have or the amount of pressure you are under and stress you feel, NOTHING, and I do mean NOTHING is worth taking your life or the life of your spouse and kids.  NOTHING!!!

Money is just that…money.  It is an object, an idol.  It doesn’t have a soul, it has no feelings nor does it have relatives.  It worships no one, it loves no one,  but there are people who worship it and many love it and that is where the trouble begins.

Some people, maybe even you, have put money and the appearance of success above your own family, above your kids, even above yourself and God.  When those priorities are not in the proper order, bad decisions are made worse.

If you are in debt, feel the pressure of financial stress, have lost your job, please, please seek out help from your family.  Share with them openly and honestly what the situation is, you will be amazed how well they will support you. Yes it may be a shock at first and that initial reaction may not be pleasant, but in a short time after they process the situation they will support you.   Seek out a professional money management coach, someone who is centered on Christ and teaching you how to manage your debt as well as your money.  There are also scores of free resources online that will get you started like “Get Out Of Debt Using the Snowball Method”

Let me be very honest, getting out of debt is not easy, however, anyone and everyone can do it, regardless of income.  Debt is really a symptom of bad spending behavior.  Many times, as mentioned above, that spending behavior was how you were raised that isn’t an excuse, it is an acknowledgment and you are going to make a change in behavior and make that change now.  It is about being accountable to yourself and your spouse.  It is about changing your behavior for the better, and in the long run changing your family tree, breaking the cycle of poor money management habits and becoming a money management expert for your family.

Most people, not all, but most, can get out of debt in three to five years.  Isn’t working hard for three to five years a better choice than taking the  life of your family?  I hope and pray your answer is “yes.”

If it is not, please contact your local community crisis center.  They are equipped with the staff to help you get through the emotional pressure you are feeling regarding your debt or any other crisis that is causing thoughts that could harm yourself or someone else.  They are also money management counseling options available and many churches are now offering some form of money management assistance.  Many times these services are free are available for a very small fee.

Not talking to family or a professional about your financial problems can cause additional pressure.  Sometimes in our minds we can build a problem up to be impossible to solve, when really if we just share our thoughts and problems with our loved ones or a professional it can make things so much better in the long run.  Talking things out always makes you feel better.

God never intended you to be focused on money, you are to be focused on Him, and when you take your eyes off Him your life will begin to crumble.  Nothing is worth that.

If I can leave you with just one thing, it would be to repeat what I said above.  NOTHING is worth your life or the life of your spouse and kids.  EVERYTHING can be worked out in time and with the right help.  Please reach out to someone if you are in financial distress, if you are feeling the pressures of debt, or collectors.  Please reach out to a pastor, community crisis center, debtors anonymous, your spouse, family or friend, please reach out to someone even if you just say, “I am in trouble and need help, I don’t know what to do”  someone is there to help you,  if they first person doesn’t hear what you are asking for or understand, go to someone else.  What ever you do, please Don’t Give Up!

I pray you will feel the hand of God as well, even in your darkest, loneliest moment, HE is there by your side, HE will give you comfort and peace regardless of the issue.

Let’s face it, there are some people in the world that are just too lazy to work hard, they would rather steal for a living.  There are people who steal cars, break into house to steal TV’s and other valuables, rob banks for money, steal from liquor stores, pharmacy’s, you name it if someone has something that an unethical,  immoral  and lazy person wants, they will figure out a way to steal it.

This concept does not stop at material possessions.  There are people out there who make it their profession to steal identities.   Why would anyone want to steal someone’s identity?

Well, besides the obvious flaws in character, it is basically because it is easier to steal an identity then it is to rob a bank and the crooks get the same return with less risk.

Identity theft does not just happen when a stranger takes your identity.  Many times, this crime is committed by relatives.  Yes, that’s right, the very people you should be able to trust are also the very people who have the easiest access to your information.

I am personally aware of a husband who has opened and charged credit cards under his wives name.  He doesn’t think he did anything wrong because “it’s his wife” but as far as the law is concerned, it is theft and fraud.   His wife is not being hounded by bill collectors, receives summons from the sheriff to appear in court for failure to pay.  Her credit has been ruined all because her husband stole her identity.

I am also aware of parents opening up credit under their childrens name.  This is becoming more common as it is so easy to do.

Is this identity theft?  Yes it is, both examples.  Identity theft is not just about someone stealing your name and living as if they are you.  It is about someone stealing your credit, which causing you, the victim,  much grief and many times you don’t even know it has happened to you until you apply for a loan, try to buy a house, or sometimes all of a sudden get a bill in the mail that you never knew you had.

So what can be done to combat this?  We can’t control anyone but ourselves and knowledge is power when it comes to these types of crimes.

First there are services out there that will monitor your credit and alert you if there is a request for a new form of credit under your name.  These services require paying a monthly or annual fee and they are not fool proof, but do offer a guarantee that they will pay up to a certain amount to get the situation corrected for you.

I am all about saving money.  Most of these paid services do what you could be doing on your own.  Yes, there is an advantage to the paid service in that they will do the leg work for you if there is an incident of identity theft but for the most part identify theft is about being pro-active to prevent it rather than being reactive to fix it once it happens.

So what can you do to help prevent identity theft from happening to you?

Visit AnnualCreditReport and pull your credit report.  By law you can pull a free report from each agency once a year.  I would recommend spreading this out throughout the year.  So first quarter you pull your report from TransUnion, next quarter you pull Equifax, and so on.  That way you are monitoring throughout the year, and it is free to you.

Stop all unsolicited credit offers by going to OptOutPrescreen.  Have you ever counted how many offers you receive in the mail each year for credit cards and equity loans?   It is so easy for someone to “snatch” one of those offers and fill it out under your name and that is the start of an identity theft.   Also, stopping these offers cuts down on what I consider “junk” coming into the house as well as helps the environment by reducing land fill trash.

Place a fraud alert on your credit at all reporting agencies.   This will place an alert at the agencies so that if someone does attempt to get credit in your name you will be notified prior to approval.  With that said, this is not infallible, I have heard of instances where the agency passes the credit request through without your approval, but it is better to have this in place than not.  It does take some scheduling on your part.  The alert only lasts for 3 months then you have to contact the agencies to place it again.  It is on my calendar as a “to do” the first of every quarter and it only takes a few minutes and is all automatated with a phone call.  When you place the alert the recording will state that the agency will report this to the other agencies, take care of yourself, report it yourself to all three agencies.

So that is it in a nutshell.  Protecting yourself from identity theft is no different than locking your car doors or insuring the deadbolt is set on the front door of your house.  A little bit of pro-active protection is not fool proof, but sure does deter most as it is far easier to steal from someone not protected than someone who is.